This is the second in a three day series about Mother’s Day. These thoughts came because of recent events and I decided to share them in one fell swoop. This post was written on March 13, 2014.
In life we all experience contractions. One of my biggest surprises in parenting is how much of life that you get to experience twice. You know that each child is uniquely and wonderfully made. David speaks in the Psalms how, The Lord knew us in our mother’s womb. We are different but there are life events that are similar and they bring back vivid memories of times long forgotten. When our first daughter went to her first high school dance with a date, there were a flood of emotions that I had not experienced in 30 years: awkwardness, excitement of getting ready with girlfriends, the let down afterwards, all were brought to the forefront once again. This time I could smile.
Yesterday, I entered into another situation that brought a flood of memories. My daughter, Molly, delivered our first grandchild. Matt, our son-in-law, texted me at 5:15am that Molly had gone into labor on her own, was moved to a different room and would probably have a baby in the next three hours. I jumped out of the bed and quickly got ready. I picked up, fed the dog, skipped the shower and drove to Presbyterian hospital. I even drove down the freeway with all the inside lights on in the car because I could not find where to turn them off. I was on a mission and had to get there. When I arrived lots had happened. I visited in their delivery room and Molly said, “Mom why don’t you stay.” Yikes, I was not planning on this and did not want to interject myself into this holy and sacred time for a couple. Of course Matt had the veto power but said that it was fine with him. I ended up staying. All was going well and finally we hear it is time to push. I prayed that it would not be as hard as it had been for me, but didn’t say this out loud. After two hours of Molly pushing I finally volunteered that it did take me a long time to push for my first child. A long three hours and I think that if anyone had offered another solution I would have been game. My strong, competitive, smart and determined daughter took this as a challenge. I cannot let my mom win in this race! The labor coach was wonderful as she tried to explain the strategy and points of action with each contraction. (This is getting to my point of living life twice…Ann, Molly’s labor coach would yell, push, bear down, not up, hold it, once more and she continued. These instructions were given with me sitting on the sofa going through each command. If I could have made it happen with my sideline view I am sure I could have done it better this time around.) Finally, I was asked to come up and hold Molly’s head so she could tuck her chin. I fixed her pony tail, got a clean wash cloth and stayed at my command post with each contraction. Under my breath I heard myself muttering, “go, go, go Molly!” I felt like yelling like I used to when she was the little girl on the soccer field with a huge bow in her hair or when I was on the sideline of a high school tennis match and she would come from behind to beat her opponent. Molly was a fighter and would not give up. She could win if it was based on time and endurance. Down, down, down, Molly I muttered under my breath. I know you can do it. After two hours the doctor said that he would let her go one more hour, but if she wanted to go for a C section then he would sign off because she had definitely put her heart and soul into it all. She decided to go for the third hour. After the third hour she was not where she needed to be and the doctor gave two options: forceps for the next three contractions or a C Section. (Of course he puts all the negatives out there with each option.). “Medicine is not an exact science,” is a statement that most doctors use to cover all the bases. Again, we were left in Jesus’ hands which is the safest place to be but this is not where we would go willingly. We would always choose the expected, predictable and sure outcome. They made the decision to try the forceps when Laura and I exited the room. We heard that this was a good decision to leave because there was huge drama with lots of nurses, Dr. Richards and of course the salad tongs. The salad tongs did their trick and William Moses McFarland arrived after four contractions, weighing 8lbs, 14 oz. and 21 1/2 inches long. A miracle, a gift, and worth every contraction and push! Thank you Jesus!
In birth and in life contractions can be such a distraction. We want to get to the bottom and promise of the why and what. I have had pain in my life and I have had labor contractions. If I could have made my “contractions” work for Molly, I would have done anything to give this to my daughter. But, she had to go through this to have our dear Will and she will have to go through other hard situations that only God can take her through. The apostle Paul experienced this when he was in prison and said, “that all temporary and light afflictions will bring an eternal weight of glory.” What The Lord is doing in each of our lives can only happen when He is present and we are present and willing to accept. I once heard that there are no correspondence courses in learning how to swim and there are no online courses when we are called to work through the suffering and contraction. The Lord can bring back the memories to help others but we must all walk the path that The Lord puts in front of us. There are no stand-ins or substitutes. He only wants me.
6 thoughts on “Contractions”
This is beautiful I think all of us who have daughters go through this when they are in labor. Congratulations, you will love every minute of grandmotherhood.
Thanks Patti. You have been through this a few times with Sydney!
Just finding time to catch up on your blog. This could be my most favorite yet! Thanks for sharing, Lindy!
Lindy…thank you for sharing…I remember 9 years ago as if it were yesterday when my granddaughter was born…my son..my sister..and I were on our knees outside the door whispering “push Julie push.” Her delivery was much easier than Molly ‘ s and I am so grateful Molly and William are healthy. ..I saw William at Bible study and he is truly precious.
Thank you Carol. It mens so much to me that you would take the time to read. Much Love, Lindy
This is so wonderful! Thanks. All too true. There ARE no stand-ins or substitutes allowed, he really does just want us. I am just glad He provides us with what we need to go through.